Michael Jackson Memorial Service

What an amazing day! I can't quite find the exact words to express the range of emotions I felt during and after the Michael Jackson Memorial Service at the Staples Center in downtown Los Angeles on Tuesday.

Michael Jackson's untimely passing on June 25 upset me to a surprising degree. Even though I hadn't really followed his career since Thriller, I have felt shocked and mournful since he died. I've been listening to his and the Jackson 5's music constantly, seen more than enough TV coverage, and have read almost every recent news article written about him. When the family announced a lottery for fans to get tickets to the public memorial, I took a chance and entered three email addresses. What a lucky surprise to be selected!

The security precautions were extravagant: ticket winners had to enter a special, unique code to the Ticketmaster website to get a voucher, which had to be printed out and presented at Dodger's Stadium the next day in order to receive your ticket and shiny wristband which the attendant fastened around my wrist immediately. I had to wear it all night, shower, and sleep with it on. Now I don't want to take it off.

City officials warned people for days to avoid downtown if possible and fans and mourners were expressly forbidden from entering the Staples Center security zone without a ticket and wristband. I invited my friend Alia Yunis, who happens to be in town promoting her book, to join me since I knew she was big MJ fan as a teenager. We avoided traffic and parking hassles by taking the Metro downtown.

When we got there, the police were checking tickets and wristbands and generally keeping the crowd moving. They were very professional, yet friendly. The crowd was polite and orderly the whole time before, during and after the service. It was surprisingly quiet outside and inside the Staples Center, which is usually filled with noise from the various games and concerts held there. Everyone was refreshingly reserved and respectful.

We made it inside the venue and looked out the huge picture windows to see the motorcade arrive with the casket and the Jackson family. All the streets around the venue were closed for blocks, helicopters hovered overhead, and hundreds of media trucks surrounded the building. The ushers handed out souvenir programs to all in attendance. The program contains a wealth of photos of Michael and the Jackson family, and it includes messages to Michael from some of his siblings, nieces, and nephews. It was a nice family keepsake.

We made it to our "VIP" seats just a few minutes before the ceremony began. Our seats would be great for a basketball game, but our view of the memorial was from the side and slightly behind stage left. It was fine though because we had a clear view of the stage and the front rows of seats where the Jackson family sat. I also watched the TelePrompter cuing the speakers and musical performers during the program.

When the music began and the Jackson brothers entered the arena as pallbearers carrying Michael's golden casket, it suddenly became very real that he was gone. There is something so powerful, so final, that the casket represents. It was covered in a beautiful blanket of red flowers. Moments later, Mariah Carey took the stage to perform "I'll Be There" and she suddenly choked at the sight of Michael's casket resting in front of her. It was the first of many tearful moments that day.

Brooke Shields gave a lovely, emotional remembrance of her childhood friend. Barry Gordy, founder of Motown Records who discovered the Jackson 5, gave the first and most articulate euology. He made us laugh and cry with the story of how the Jackson family got started on their path to stardom. Lionel Richie sang a soothing gospel hymn I hadn't heard before and Usher brought everyone to tears with his stunning rendition of "Gone Too Soon." He even jumped off the stage and sang directly to Michael's casket. When he choked up at the song's conclusion, the Jackson family stood to embrace him and thank him for his tribute. More touching tributes came from Queen Latifah, Magic Johnson and Kobe Bryant, and others.

Jennifer Hudson gave the best vocal performance with her powerful rendition of MJ's "Will You Be There" and Stevie Wonder brought everyone to tears again with his ballad "Never Dreamed You'd Leave In Summer" [Incidentally, I also saw Stevie perform at Carl Anderson's memorial a few years ago]. John Mayer gave a thoughtful guitar version of "Human Nature" and brother Germaine Jackson concluded with a touching rendition of Michael's favorite song, Charlie Chaplin's "Smile." A big surprise came when little Shaheen Jafargholi, whom Michael had invited to join his tour blew the roof off the dump with his version of "Who's Loving You." The show ended with a big finale of "We Are The World" featuring all the performers and Jackson siblings on stage with cast members of Michael's ill-fated This Is It production, which was in final rehearsals on the same stage two nights before he died.

Several of the euologies went on a bit too long -- it's hard to keep stating the same platitudes and hyperbolies ("Michael Jackson was the greatest entertainer in history") and not get a little over the top. Al Sharpton roused the crowd with the most exciting speech of the day. He made a touching statement to MJ's three children: "There was nothing strange about your Daddy. What he had to deal with was strange." That earned a huge roar of agreement from the audience. Although it didn't shy away from controversial aspects of Michael's life, the memorial focused primarily on his music and his life as a person, not a superstar or pop icon.

After the finale, the Jackson siblings remained on stage with Michael's three kids. A few brothers made comments, exposing their raw emotions: grief, confusion, anger, bitterness, and most of all, love. Finally, Michael's 11-year-old daughter Paris devastated the whole auditorium with her tearful tribute to her Daddy. There was a lot of love in that room, and not a dry eye in the place. Although almost 20,000 were present, with millions more watching on television and online, the event felt extremely intimate and personal. I felt like a fly on the wall at the Jackson family's private service for Michael. It was a beautifully organized production and a very special honor for me to be included.

After the ceremony, the brothers removed the casket and the crowd filed out slowly, somberly. Outside, the beautiful California sunshine welcomed us into the LA Live plaza. The brilliant blue sky was cloudless except for a skywriter creating the initial M in a heart above us. All the Jumbotrons and video screens around the LA Live complex projected slideshows with pictures of Michael Jackson throughout his life and career. Several giant "walls" were erected with a black & white image of Michael, the dates of his life and death, and thousands of signatures and messages written by fans. I felt a beautiful welling up of affection from the crowd for Michael's life and achievements, plus sadness and grief over his tragic loss.

The only distraction were all the media outside, reporting on the service and interviewing spectators for their impressions. It seems very clear to me that although Michael courted the media, he was actually consumed by them. He became a commodity, not a human being, and the disgusting spectacle of his aftermath continues to feed a vicious media frenzy. I never knew Michael Jackson, but I'm now certain that the figure presented through the media was not the real man.

I'm not just sad for the loss of a talented artist, it's also personal in the sense that a long period of my life has ended. Michael Jackson has been famous my entire life and I've heard his songs since I began listening to music. He created some of my all time favorite songs and early musical experiences. Now that he is gone, a chapter of my youth has also closed.

Globally speaking, it's the loss of one the biggest stars in history, ranking up there with Elvis Presley, John Lennon, and Princess Diana. Michael Jackson was the most famous, and at one point the most beloved, celebrity in the world. The worldwide attention to his death and the massive viewership of his memorial service on television and the Internet proves that point.

It also leads me to speculate that we may never have an entertainment figure as well-known as Michael Jackson was. Entertainment media is so globalized and fragmented today, it is difficult for one person to appeal to a massive cross-section of humanity because our attention has been diffused so deeply into our personal niche interests. When Elvis Presley died, there were only three broadcast networks in the United States. Today's service was viewed simultaneously by hundreds of millions of people around the globe via various technological means. Thanks to technology, the recording industry is in a tailspin and no longer generates the mega-millions earned by the likes of Michael Jackson. He was and will always remain the King of Pop.