The verdict is in.....or at least over. Yep, we finished our deliberations and rendered our verdicts (3 of them) this morning. I was the foreperson and I did a good job of herding the cats so that we could finish our duty before lunch time! Even the other jurors congratulated me on a job well done. It felt strange to hear to judge and the court recorder recite my name as they read the verdicts.
As much of a hassle as this experience has been, I'm glad I did it. It was very educational to see our system in process and it felt good to be a part of that process, and to fulfill my civic duty. Certainly there are weaknesses to our judicial system, but overall I'm impressed with its efficiency and its fairness.
The challenge to the jurors was to remain dispassionate observers to this whole thing and we did that, although we often had to remind ourselves of that perspective during the deliberations.
Anyway, as the judge said, "same time, next year?" :-) We're excused from service for at least 12 months, but we will probably all be called again. I wouldn't mind doing it again if I were called, as long as I can schedule it during a time when there is no class.
Speaking of which, I talked with my supervisor at UCLA today and I have a decent schedule for this month. Not completely full, but certainly enough to keep me busy and financially supported.
Now I'm on my way to Randy's house for a little birthday celebration for our dear friend Heidster. I only hope I can make it there before I run out of gasoline -- I'm running on fumes!
Tuesday, September 30, 2003
Monday, September 29, 2003
Call me "Foreman Scottydude!" That's right -- I'm the foreman of the jury. Our trial finally reached closing arguments today and the case was delivered to the jury. We deliberated for a little less than two hours this afternoon and reached a partial verdict. Now we have to calculate the damages and awards. That should go fairly easily; it's just a lot of number crunching.
It was interesting to start the deliberation phase because nobody was sure what to do. For a long time we just started discussing various aspects of the case that had been on our minds. A lot of the session was spent just venting our thoughts and impressions since we had been stifled for so long against discussing the case.
Finally, since no one else wanted to do it, I volunteered to be the jury foreman. Then we got down to the business of actually deciding liability. At first we couldn't decide. It was a difficult choice to make, but after some discussion and reasoning-out various situations, most of us agreed on a basic scenario of what happened in the accident. Then the other decisions started coming easier.
The court made us stop at 4:30, but most of us would have continued longer if we'd been allowed. I really wanted to have tomorrow off. Oh well, we'll hopefully finish deliberations and announce our verdicts by lunch time. Then we can have a nice free afternoon. What will I do with myself? Oh yeah, probably get ready for UCLA, which starts on Wednesday. Blech! :-)
I'd much rather go see the Hitchcock double-feature at the Beverly. How can I come up with $6 bucks though. I'm dirt-ass poor! Oh well, Wednesday is payday. I'll be feeling a lot better then hopefully.
It was interesting to start the deliberation phase because nobody was sure what to do. For a long time we just started discussing various aspects of the case that had been on our minds. A lot of the session was spent just venting our thoughts and impressions since we had been stifled for so long against discussing the case.
Finally, since no one else wanted to do it, I volunteered to be the jury foreman. Then we got down to the business of actually deciding liability. At first we couldn't decide. It was a difficult choice to make, but after some discussion and reasoning-out various situations, most of us agreed on a basic scenario of what happened in the accident. Then the other decisions started coming easier.
The court made us stop at 4:30, but most of us would have continued longer if we'd been allowed. I really wanted to have tomorrow off. Oh well, we'll hopefully finish deliberations and announce our verdicts by lunch time. Then we can have a nice free afternoon. What will I do with myself? Oh yeah, probably get ready for UCLA, which starts on Wednesday. Blech! :-)
I'd much rather go see the Hitchcock double-feature at the Beverly. How can I come up with $6 bucks though. I'm dirt-ass poor! Oh well, Wednesday is payday. I'll be feeling a lot better then hopefully.
Regardless of political sentiment, it's hard to imagine a director who had more influence over 20th century American acting than Elia Kazan. Just read a list of his important films and Broadway plays or the names of the actors he discovered who had a seminal influence on not only acting but American culture: "On The Waterfront," "East of Eden," "Death of a Salesman," "A Streetcar Named Desire," and the actors Lee J. Cobb, Marlon Brando, James Dean, and of course Warren Beatty! :-)
It's too bad there is such a cloud hanging over his legacy because of his testimony to Sen. McCarthy's HUAC hearings in the early 1950s. Maybe he did "rat" on some of his peers and colleagues, but at the time, he was simply defending his work, his career, and his family.
Kazan's talents as an actor (he was a founding member of the Actors' Studio and a proponent of "The Method" style of acting), a director of screen and stage (he earned two Academy Awards, half of his 23 films are considered American classics, and his Broadway triumphs included "The Skin of Our Teeth," "All My Sons," "Streetcar," and "Death of a Salesman"), and writer (he wrote half a dozen best-selling novels as well as an autobiography and several non-fiction books about his filmmaking) are beyond comparison.
Elia Kazan was born September 7, 1909 in Contantinople, Ottoman Empire. He died on September 28, 2003 in New York City.
For more information about Elia Kazan's life and work, go to the Internet Movie Database (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001415/).
To hear a very interesting interview with him discussing his work with Brando and Dean, go to National Public Radio's "Fresh Air" program (http://freshair.npr.org/day_fa.jhtml?display=day&todayDate=09/29/2003).
It's too bad there is such a cloud hanging over his legacy because of his testimony to Sen. McCarthy's HUAC hearings in the early 1950s. Maybe he did "rat" on some of his peers and colleagues, but at the time, he was simply defending his work, his career, and his family.
Kazan's talents as an actor (he was a founding member of the Actors' Studio and a proponent of "The Method" style of acting), a director of screen and stage (he earned two Academy Awards, half of his 23 films are considered American classics, and his Broadway triumphs included "The Skin of Our Teeth," "All My Sons," "Streetcar," and "Death of a Salesman"), and writer (he wrote half a dozen best-selling novels as well as an autobiography and several non-fiction books about his filmmaking) are beyond comparison.
Elia Kazan was born September 7, 1909 in Contantinople, Ottoman Empire. He died on September 28, 2003 in New York City.
For more information about Elia Kazan's life and work, go to the Internet Movie Database (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001415/).
To hear a very interesting interview with him discussing his work with Brando and Dean, go to National Public Radio's "Fresh Air" program (http://freshair.npr.org/day_fa.jhtml?display=day&todayDate=09/29/2003).
Jury duty was so amazing on Friday! The morning was a little slow at the plaintiffs were wrapping up their case. For three days we had heard the same account of the story told by several different witnesses, all covering the same information. Boring!
Then in the afternoon, the defense attorney presented his case. Well, then the fireworks started to fly. First was a doctor who had examined the medical records of the plaintiffs and felt the treatment was excessive and the examining doctor incompetent. The plaintiff's cross-exam was blistering! This lawyer totally ripped the doctor a new one and did everything possible to destroy his credibility. It was brutal.
But the next witness for the defense was even more intriguing. This was a third party, not involved with the case, who had seen the accident (I shouldn't be talking about this yet) and gave totally contradictory testimony compared to the plaintiffs. And he was very credible, too! The jury was astounded. When the plaintiffs cross-examined this witness he gained in credibility and in fact the plaintiff's case was weakened further. Finally they just stopped asking questions of this witness. The judge excused us for the weekend but told us we should get the case for deliberations by Monday. Hopefully this jury can render a verdict by Tuesday morning and be done with this case. That would be a nice thing.
The good news for me is that my supervisors at UCLA were totally supportive when I told them I was on jury duty. They are both really sincere when it comes to civic duty so it will be no problem for me to miss the new session startup and they said they would work out a good schedule for me. Hooray!
Then in the afternoon, the defense attorney presented his case. Well, then the fireworks started to fly. First was a doctor who had examined the medical records of the plaintiffs and felt the treatment was excessive and the examining doctor incompetent. The plaintiff's cross-exam was blistering! This lawyer totally ripped the doctor a new one and did everything possible to destroy his credibility. It was brutal.
But the next witness for the defense was even more intriguing. This was a third party, not involved with the case, who had seen the accident (I shouldn't be talking about this yet) and gave totally contradictory testimony compared to the plaintiffs. And he was very credible, too! The jury was astounded. When the plaintiffs cross-examined this witness he gained in credibility and in fact the plaintiff's case was weakened further. Finally they just stopped asking questions of this witness. The judge excused us for the weekend but told us we should get the case for deliberations by Monday. Hopefully this jury can render a verdict by Tuesday morning and be done with this case. That would be a nice thing.
The good news for me is that my supervisors at UCLA were totally supportive when I told them I was on jury duty. They are both really sincere when it comes to civic duty so it will be no problem for me to miss the new session startup and they said they would work out a good schedule for me. Hooray!
Thursday, September 25, 2003
FUCK!! I'm on jury duty this week. I was hoping to get out of it, but dammit they picked me to sit on a jury for a civil case. It's not all bad; in fact, it's quite an interesting experience to see how our legal system works. As inefficient as it may seem sometimes, the judicial system in the US is truly exquisite in its balance and grace.
I'm sure I'll have more to say about this later, but for now I'm under oath "not to discuss the case or form any opinions." :-)
Meanwhile, I'm missing out on the last week of my vacation before school starts again next week. I didn't have anything planned this week -- I knew I would be on jury duty -- but I need to catch up on my chores, such as laundry, cleaning, etc. I was going to get all my paperwork filed that's been piling up, and I need to take care of some things that I've procrastinating over terribly. It's really bad. I still haven't filed my taxes for 2002!!
Beyond that (in fact the cause of that) is I am fucking flat broke. Not a penny to my name. Well, that's almost an exaggeration. I actually have about $4 total if you count the change in my ashtray and the quarters I've been saving for laundry. Ugh, I hate being poor. Don't know why I can't seem to catch up on my finances. It's depressing.
In other news, my sister finally broke down and got a cell phone. Actually, she got the same phone as me! We've been text messaging each other quite a bit the past few days. I knew she would enjoy having it more than she expected to. We all do!
I still haven't started building my webpage. That's another thing I was going to start this week. Frustrating. There's no great rush -- I don't need it for any particular reason, but my friends have already paid for the domain name. I feel like every week that goes by without action is a waste somehow. Kind of like my life.....hmmmmm......
I need Prozac -- STAT!!
I'm sure I'll have more to say about this later, but for now I'm under oath "not to discuss the case or form any opinions." :-)
Meanwhile, I'm missing out on the last week of my vacation before school starts again next week. I didn't have anything planned this week -- I knew I would be on jury duty -- but I need to catch up on my chores, such as laundry, cleaning, etc. I was going to get all my paperwork filed that's been piling up, and I need to take care of some things that I've procrastinating over terribly. It's really bad. I still haven't filed my taxes for 2002!!
Beyond that (in fact the cause of that) is I am fucking flat broke. Not a penny to my name. Well, that's almost an exaggeration. I actually have about $4 total if you count the change in my ashtray and the quarters I've been saving for laundry. Ugh, I hate being poor. Don't know why I can't seem to catch up on my finances. It's depressing.
In other news, my sister finally broke down and got a cell phone. Actually, she got the same phone as me! We've been text messaging each other quite a bit the past few days. I knew she would enjoy having it more than she expected to. We all do!
I still haven't started building my webpage. That's another thing I was going to start this week. Frustrating. There's no great rush -- I don't need it for any particular reason, but my friends have already paid for the domain name. I feel like every week that goes by without action is a waste somehow. Kind of like my life.....hmmmmm......
I need Prozac -- STAT!!
Saturday, September 20, 2003
Bowie's REALITY -- awesome. I really love the new album. At first listening, it didn't impress me immediately like HEATHEN, the last one, did. But after just a couple of listenings, I am really hooked. A few tracks especially that please me are the first track (the single) "New Killer Star," and "Never Get Old" which is a great rocker anthem, and I really love the final track "Bring Me The Disco King." I don't really know what it's about yet, but it has an eerie, captivating sound...unlike any other track on the album. Quite sparse arrangement: mostly piano and drums with droning backup harmonies. Really deep theme -- he's been trying to record this song to his own satisfaction for the past decade, but only now has it been "finished."
Many more listenings to come!
Many more listenings to come!
Back in LA now. Got back early Friday morning, about 4:00 AM. Ugh. Long dull drive back from Denver -- 16 hours. But I had Bowie playing in the CD player the whole way. I had my own little retrospective of his recordings on the way to Denver and back -- all 26 studio albums, including his newest, "Reality," released this week.
Caught a nasty cold in Breckenridge (?) that started making my throat sore last Sunday evening. By Monday morning I was in serious discomfort. Cold has lasted all week (it's now Saturday). I'm in the chesty congestion stage at this point. My voice is practically non-existent, which sucks considering I'm teaching seven classes online today! :-(
Oh well, I can relax this evening and tomorrow if I choose. I may have jury duty next week. Gotta call the hotline to find out for sure. In some ways I'd like to experience jury duty, but in other ways I'd rather sleep in and avoid the commute during my week off from classes.
To top it all off, I'm completely and utterly broke! I don't know what the hell happened, but I made a big ol' goof with my checking account and spent the same money two or three times over. I just checked my account statement online and I bounced like 10 checks or something outrageous. Overdraft charges over $200 this month!! Grrrrr.
I can't afford to make those kind of mistakes. I can't afford any mistakes these days. I can barely afford the rent! I guess things are a little more challenging financially than I anticipated. A year ago I was rolling in cash, but that was also while living in a house with two other roommates. My rent was about half what it is now. So my expenses are practically doubled living on my own, and the income is actually not increasing. In fact, this summer has killed me financially. Enrollment at ALC was way down this summer and although I had a full schedule in August and September, June and July were mighty slim and my budget has suffered for it. I'm still catching up on bills from three months ago. I should say "trying to catch up" because I'm not really doing any "catching up" at all. I'm bummed.
I sincerely love teaching ESL. It's great fun and I feel personally rewarded (emotionally, spiritually, etc.). And even though the hourly teaching rate at UCLA is excellent, the number of hours available are limited. And with fall approaching, the enrollment is usually smaller than summer, so teaching hours may be fewer than ever. That's gonna kill me if I can't make some extra money. I've fallen into a bit of a hole and I can't seem to get out of it at the moment. Oh well, what can one do?
I stopped by my old college in Denver to see about completing my degree. I was surprised to realize I have 75 credits completed. I thought it was more like 60. Anyway, I didn't get much information from them. One has to jump through enormous hoops at a public school just to get the simplest of answers. I found the same trouble at CSUN when I went to talk with them. In fact, no one would meet me individually. I went to a group orientation of about 50 people interested in the teacher education major. I filled out the paperwork requesting a private consulation, but they sent me a letter saying they couldn't advise me until I applied to the school -- that's a $65 dollar fee -- and I wasn't even sure CSUN was the right school for me or not! At least I didn't have to pay again at Metro, since I am a former student, but I did have to reapply for admission before the counselor would even consider advising me. Of course I applied again and then they told me they could really give me specific information about my major and that I should contact someone in the major department I was interested in. So I walk over to the English department to talk with someone, but there was no one available to meet me. Typical. I wonder if the service would be any better at a private school? Like they say, "you get what you pay for."
Caught a nasty cold in Breckenridge (?) that started making my throat sore last Sunday evening. By Monday morning I was in serious discomfort. Cold has lasted all week (it's now Saturday). I'm in the chesty congestion stage at this point. My voice is practically non-existent, which sucks considering I'm teaching seven classes online today! :-(
Oh well, I can relax this evening and tomorrow if I choose. I may have jury duty next week. Gotta call the hotline to find out for sure. In some ways I'd like to experience jury duty, but in other ways I'd rather sleep in and avoid the commute during my week off from classes.
To top it all off, I'm completely and utterly broke! I don't know what the hell happened, but I made a big ol' goof with my checking account and spent the same money two or three times over. I just checked my account statement online and I bounced like 10 checks or something outrageous. Overdraft charges over $200 this month!! Grrrrr.
I can't afford to make those kind of mistakes. I can't afford any mistakes these days. I can barely afford the rent! I guess things are a little more challenging financially than I anticipated. A year ago I was rolling in cash, but that was also while living in a house with two other roommates. My rent was about half what it is now. So my expenses are practically doubled living on my own, and the income is actually not increasing. In fact, this summer has killed me financially. Enrollment at ALC was way down this summer and although I had a full schedule in August and September, June and July were mighty slim and my budget has suffered for it. I'm still catching up on bills from three months ago. I should say "trying to catch up" because I'm not really doing any "catching up" at all. I'm bummed.
I sincerely love teaching ESL. It's great fun and I feel personally rewarded (emotionally, spiritually, etc.). And even though the hourly teaching rate at UCLA is excellent, the number of hours available are limited. And with fall approaching, the enrollment is usually smaller than summer, so teaching hours may be fewer than ever. That's gonna kill me if I can't make some extra money. I've fallen into a bit of a hole and I can't seem to get out of it at the moment. Oh well, what can one do?
I stopped by my old college in Denver to see about completing my degree. I was surprised to realize I have 75 credits completed. I thought it was more like 60. Anyway, I didn't get much information from them. One has to jump through enormous hoops at a public school just to get the simplest of answers. I found the same trouble at CSUN when I went to talk with them. In fact, no one would meet me individually. I went to a group orientation of about 50 people interested in the teacher education major. I filled out the paperwork requesting a private consulation, but they sent me a letter saying they couldn't advise me until I applied to the school -- that's a $65 dollar fee -- and I wasn't even sure CSUN was the right school for me or not! At least I didn't have to pay again at Metro, since I am a former student, but I did have to reapply for admission before the counselor would even consider advising me. Of course I applied again and then they told me they could really give me specific information about my major and that I should contact someone in the major department I was interested in. So I walk over to the English department to talk with someone, but there was no one available to meet me. Typical. I wonder if the service would be any better at a private school? Like they say, "you get what you pay for."
Monday, September 15, 2003
I'm in Colorado now staying with my Dad. It's strange not to have Mom around -- she recently moved to Texas to take care of my sick Aunt -- but it's nice to relax and enjoy the beautiful cool weather. I'm in Denver (the capitol city of Colorado) and the weather this week is warm and sunny (high temps about 75 F -- maybe 22-23 C) and the sky is so blue and clear. Saturday, I was in Breckenridge (a small mountain skiing village) where it was snowing and the temperatures were below freezing!
I went to Breckenridge for a film festival, where my best friend's movie was premiering. It's his first feature and it got accepted into the competition for Best Comedy. I don't think it won any awards, but it's a very funny film and it got a warm response from the audience at Friday night's screening. We were all very happy. Although I didn't participate much in the filming, I did sing and record the song for the final end credits. It's a very silly song and the audience listened closely to the words and laughed a lot.
I went to Breckenridge for a film festival, where my best friend's movie was premiering. It's his first feature and it got accepted into the competition for Best Comedy. I don't think it won any awards, but it's a very funny film and it got a warm response from the audience at Friday night's screening. We were all very happy. Although I didn't participate much in the filming, I did sing and record the song for the final end credits. It's a very silly song and the audience listened closely to the words and laughed a lot.
Wednesday, September 10, 2003
OK, time to post again. Getting out of the habit. Actually I never quite got in the habit, but there's always hope!
I'm finishing up my summer term here at UCLA Extension and getting ready for a road trip to Colorado. Headin' to Colorado for the Breckenridge Film Festival to see the world premiere of my best friend Randy's film, "The Second Degree". He has worked so hard to complete this film; I'm very proud of him!
It should be fun to spend a few days in the mountains -- clean air, relaxed atmosphere -- so different from LA. Hopefully the film comes off well and people enjoy it. I think that would make Randy and everyone happy: just to hear an audience laughing and appreciating the film.
After Breckenridge, I'll head to Denver to visit Dad and Sis. Will be strange not to have Mom there. She's down in Houston taking care of Aunt Martha. But it will be fun to hang out more with Dad this time. We always have fun because we're so alike in some ways and we share a lot of interests. We always play guitar together and listen to all kinds of music. My Dad has an outstanding collection of music, on CD and vinyl LPs!!
I'll have to be back in LA by Friday the 19th. One of my students has a short film screening in LA and I'd like to see it. Also, I can't miss my coffee talk with Heidster -- just about the coolest friend a friend can have! We always get together on Fridays to discuss the week's events or to take in a classic film at the New Beverly Cinema in my neighborhood. I think there's a great Hepburn & Tracy double feature that night. I'll probably fall asleep during the second feature, but that's OK; I usually do.
Well, gotta get going and get packing! Always much to do before a big road trip. Adios!
I'm finishing up my summer term here at UCLA Extension and getting ready for a road trip to Colorado. Headin' to Colorado for the Breckenridge Film Festival to see the world premiere of my best friend Randy's film, "The Second Degree". He has worked so hard to complete this film; I'm very proud of him!
It should be fun to spend a few days in the mountains -- clean air, relaxed atmosphere -- so different from LA. Hopefully the film comes off well and people enjoy it. I think that would make Randy and everyone happy: just to hear an audience laughing and appreciating the film.
After Breckenridge, I'll head to Denver to visit Dad and Sis. Will be strange not to have Mom there. She's down in Houston taking care of Aunt Martha. But it will be fun to hang out more with Dad this time. We always have fun because we're so alike in some ways and we share a lot of interests. We always play guitar together and listen to all kinds of music. My Dad has an outstanding collection of music, on CD and vinyl LPs!!
I'll have to be back in LA by Friday the 19th. One of my students has a short film screening in LA and I'd like to see it. Also, I can't miss my coffee talk with Heidster -- just about the coolest friend a friend can have! We always get together on Fridays to discuss the week's events or to take in a classic film at the New Beverly Cinema in my neighborhood. I think there's a great Hepburn & Tracy double feature that night. I'll probably fall asleep during the second feature, but that's OK; I usually do.
Well, gotta get going and get packing! Always much to do before a big road trip. Adios!
Monday, September 01, 2003
Hi there! Been a while since I last blogged, so I thought I'd update you on what's going on in my life. I know, I know...you must be breathless with anticipation....
I am so happy today that my computer is finally updated with Windows XP and I installed a new hard drive and an extra memory card and I did it all by myself! :-) Well, almost by myself. I couldn't have done it without the excellent advice and coaching of my friend Heidster. She's quite a computer geek herself and now I'm becoming one. She turned me on the blogging and now she's hooked me on the upgrade roadway.
It's a ton of fun - and frustration - to upgrade your own computer, especially something as drastic as installing a new hard drive. There's a lot of mystery involved too in getting it set just right and converting the older drive to a slave and so forth. Lots of technical stuff I don't know about, but I just used common sense and some counseling from Heidster and now I'm all set. So far! Everything is just back online this evening so I can't say it's all perfect yet.
Had to buy a new mouse, too, which is a bit of a drag since I loved my old IBM optical mouse. But it's not compatible with XP so there you go. Had to dig deep and shell out for a new Microsoft optical mouse. It's cute, but it's not quite as comfortable in the hand as my old mouse. Alas!
In other news, I haven't checked in with Mom to see how's she doing with the move to Houston. Last I heard she was packing up and moving her stuff to storage and planning to be out by the first of the month. That's today! My sister Sherea said Mom will stay with her a couple of nights and then head down to Texas on Wednesday. Too bad I'm going to miss her. I'll be in Denver the following week. Ugh. Well I feel sorry for her having to go through with this and for the impending loss of her big sister. That can't be any fun at all. My Mom will get through it though. She's a pretty tough cookie.
Oh well, that's all for now I guess. Now that I've got the new OS running and the hard drive, I have to reinstall a lot of programs and get used to the new system. Gotta start working on my website too. Only have the domain in place so far, nothing much to see yet. Not sure the purpose for it actually besides just the fun of doing it. But it would be cool to have some place online where I can express myself creatively and keep a personal web presence active. Let everyone know what's going on with me. Could have practical applications as well, such as keeping important documents all in one place. And there's tons of possibilities to do with my teaching. Who know?!
I made a pretty strong resolution over the weekend. Happy Labor Day by the way. I've decided I've got to go back to school and finish my degree. Just got to do it. I've been saying that for years and pining for it, but I haven't taken any action. Now I realize if I don't do it soon then I will never do it and it will be too late. It's not getting any easier and it will only get harder. And I don't need anything in my life to get harder, believe me! So I'm gonna do it. Not sure yet where I'll go or what I'll do -- may end up back in Denver, in fact, if necessary. Maybe I'll take some time to visit my old stoppin' ground in Denver when I'm there in September and just see what it would take to finish there. Surely they would accept original credits. I'd have to do some catch up, but it might be faster/easier than starting completely over in another state system like CSU or UC. We'll see....
Getting excited about Breckenridge. It's going to be a nice setting to relax in, although I know we'll feel nervous when it's time to show the film. Randy is going to be climbing the walls I know it. So will I probably. I just hope the film is ready and as complete as Randy wants it to be. I sure hope the audience enjoys it too. It's a pretty good film if you understand the premise. I'm not sure how many people outside of Hollywood know the whole Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game. I'm just looking forward to seeing the movie "finished" and screened before a public audience.
Anyway, that's more than enough for now. I "must to bed" as Shakespeare might say...if he could say anything, the poor beggar. Been watching a bit of "All Creatures Great and Small" on DVD (thanks R & H). Brings back a lot of memories. Tea and Mrs. Hall and Tricky Woo and "this 'orse ain't runnin' on nought but three cylinders" and all of that. Good stuff!
I am so happy today that my computer is finally updated with Windows XP and I installed a new hard drive and an extra memory card and I did it all by myself! :-) Well, almost by myself. I couldn't have done it without the excellent advice and coaching of my friend Heidster. She's quite a computer geek herself and now I'm becoming one. She turned me on the blogging and now she's hooked me on the upgrade roadway.
It's a ton of fun - and frustration - to upgrade your own computer, especially something as drastic as installing a new hard drive. There's a lot of mystery involved too in getting it set just right and converting the older drive to a slave and so forth. Lots of technical stuff I don't know about, but I just used common sense and some counseling from Heidster and now I'm all set. So far! Everything is just back online this evening so I can't say it's all perfect yet.
Had to buy a new mouse, too, which is a bit of a drag since I loved my old IBM optical mouse. But it's not compatible with XP so there you go. Had to dig deep and shell out for a new Microsoft optical mouse. It's cute, but it's not quite as comfortable in the hand as my old mouse. Alas!
In other news, I haven't checked in with Mom to see how's she doing with the move to Houston. Last I heard she was packing up and moving her stuff to storage and planning to be out by the first of the month. That's today! My sister Sherea said Mom will stay with her a couple of nights and then head down to Texas on Wednesday. Too bad I'm going to miss her. I'll be in Denver the following week. Ugh. Well I feel sorry for her having to go through with this and for the impending loss of her big sister. That can't be any fun at all. My Mom will get through it though. She's a pretty tough cookie.
Oh well, that's all for now I guess. Now that I've got the new OS running and the hard drive, I have to reinstall a lot of programs and get used to the new system. Gotta start working on my website too. Only have the domain in place so far, nothing much to see yet. Not sure the purpose for it actually besides just the fun of doing it. But it would be cool to have some place online where I can express myself creatively and keep a personal web presence active. Let everyone know what's going on with me. Could have practical applications as well, such as keeping important documents all in one place. And there's tons of possibilities to do with my teaching. Who know?!
I made a pretty strong resolution over the weekend. Happy Labor Day by the way. I've decided I've got to go back to school and finish my degree. Just got to do it. I've been saying that for years and pining for it, but I haven't taken any action. Now I realize if I don't do it soon then I will never do it and it will be too late. It's not getting any easier and it will only get harder. And I don't need anything in my life to get harder, believe me! So I'm gonna do it. Not sure yet where I'll go or what I'll do -- may end up back in Denver, in fact, if necessary. Maybe I'll take some time to visit my old stoppin' ground in Denver when I'm there in September and just see what it would take to finish there. Surely they would accept original credits. I'd have to do some catch up, but it might be faster/easier than starting completely over in another state system like CSU or UC. We'll see....
Getting excited about Breckenridge. It's going to be a nice setting to relax in, although I know we'll feel nervous when it's time to show the film. Randy is going to be climbing the walls I know it. So will I probably. I just hope the film is ready and as complete as Randy wants it to be. I sure hope the audience enjoys it too. It's a pretty good film if you understand the premise. I'm not sure how many people outside of Hollywood know the whole Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game. I'm just looking forward to seeing the movie "finished" and screened before a public audience.
Anyway, that's more than enough for now. I "must to bed" as Shakespeare might say...if he could say anything, the poor beggar. Been watching a bit of "All Creatures Great and Small" on DVD (thanks R & H). Brings back a lot of memories. Tea and Mrs. Hall and Tricky Woo and "this 'orse ain't runnin' on nought but three cylinders" and all of that. Good stuff!
Friday, August 22, 2003
Feeling pretty good today cuz I got some money in the bank! Finally....
It's been a tough month financially and I'm definitely not out of the woods yet, but it just feels nice to know I can eat today if I want to. It's amazing how much liberty is denied when you don't have the dosh, and man I've felt like a prisoner for the past three weeks or so. Anywho, things are looking up for the moment so I'm going to enjoy a few days of relaxation before it's all gone again.
Strange message from my little sis last night. Sounds like Mom has decided to move to Houston to take care of my Aunt Martha. Not sure how I feel about that. I totally understand why she's going, of course. In fact, she had ruminated on that possibility months ago, even before Aunt Martha got so sick. Mom had considered moving to Texas to be closer to her sisters. And she had discussed the possibility of moving in with one of her sisters, including Aunt Martha, to save living expenses. Now the circumstances are quite different since Aunt Martha is gravely ill and who knows how long she will last, God bless her.
So it's a strange sense of transition one feels. On the one hand, it's great that Mom feels that connection with her sister and great for Aunt Martha that she will have someone available to take care of her in her final days. It's going to be so challenging for both of them I think, in ways I'm sure I can't begin to imagine.
On the other hand, I feel a sense of loss myself since my Mom won't be at "home" anymore. One's hometown is more than just the physical surroundings of a city or community. It's also about the people who live there and my family has been in Denver for the past 25 years since my Dad relocated us from Lubbock, Texas. It's strange to think that when I go "home" to Denver, my Mom won't be there. I don't know how that's going to feel. And I'm planning to go home soon -- in about three weeks. Mom may not even be there then since she's trying to get down to Houston as quickly as she can. I haven't talked with her yet, but before, she mentioned the possibility of giving up her apartment and putting all her things (and some of mine, come to think of it) in storage. God what a drag to move all that stuff. And who knows how long she'll be with Aunt Martha in Houston?
I have a feeling if she does move to Texas that she will never come back to Denver. I don't know why I feel that way, but I do. It's a shame, too, since my sister is finally going to have a baby. My Mom has been waiting for years for a grandbaby and now that she's having one, she's probably going to miss the whole thing!
Oh what a fucked up life this is.
It's been a tough month financially and I'm definitely not out of the woods yet, but it just feels nice to know I can eat today if I want to. It's amazing how much liberty is denied when you don't have the dosh, and man I've felt like a prisoner for the past three weeks or so. Anywho, things are looking up for the moment so I'm going to enjoy a few days of relaxation before it's all gone again.
Strange message from my little sis last night. Sounds like Mom has decided to move to Houston to take care of my Aunt Martha. Not sure how I feel about that. I totally understand why she's going, of course. In fact, she had ruminated on that possibility months ago, even before Aunt Martha got so sick. Mom had considered moving to Texas to be closer to her sisters. And she had discussed the possibility of moving in with one of her sisters, including Aunt Martha, to save living expenses. Now the circumstances are quite different since Aunt Martha is gravely ill and who knows how long she will last, God bless her.
So it's a strange sense of transition one feels. On the one hand, it's great that Mom feels that connection with her sister and great for Aunt Martha that she will have someone available to take care of her in her final days. It's going to be so challenging for both of them I think, in ways I'm sure I can't begin to imagine.
On the other hand, I feel a sense of loss myself since my Mom won't be at "home" anymore. One's hometown is more than just the physical surroundings of a city or community. It's also about the people who live there and my family has been in Denver for the past 25 years since my Dad relocated us from Lubbock, Texas. It's strange to think that when I go "home" to Denver, my Mom won't be there. I don't know how that's going to feel. And I'm planning to go home soon -- in about three weeks. Mom may not even be there then since she's trying to get down to Houston as quickly as she can. I haven't talked with her yet, but before, she mentioned the possibility of giving up her apartment and putting all her things (and some of mine, come to think of it) in storage. God what a drag to move all that stuff. And who knows how long she'll be with Aunt Martha in Houston?
I have a feeling if she does move to Texas that she will never come back to Denver. I don't know why I feel that way, but I do. It's a shame, too, since my sister is finally going to have a baby. My Mom has been waiting for years for a grandbaby and now that she's having one, she's probably going to miss the whole thing!
Oh what a fucked up life this is.
Thursday, August 14, 2003
Whew! Oh my god, I thought I had lost all my blogs. Every time I logged into my blogspot today all I got was the failed comment function entry and a blank page. Even the archive links on the right didn't appear! Oh my God, I panicked. I even tried republishing the whole site, but I didn't see any difference.
Well, after letting the browser window stay open for a few minutes, finally the rest of the blogs appeared! I guess it was just taking a long time to download or something. Freaky. I was about to forever swear off blogging for fear of losing my data. Not that any of this crap is worth anything, but I've spent some time writing these, especially my emotional blog last night about my Aunt Martha. It would suck to spend all that time, effort and energy in something that wasn't going to last. But then again, permanency is such a false concept anyway.
Hope to catch up with my pal Heidster tomorrow....
Well, after letting the browser window stay open for a few minutes, finally the rest of the blogs appeared! I guess it was just taking a long time to download or something. Freaky. I was about to forever swear off blogging for fear of losing my data. Not that any of this crap is worth anything, but I've spent some time writing these, especially my emotional blog last night about my Aunt Martha. It would suck to spend all that time, effort and energy in something that wasn't going to last. But then again, permanency is such a false concept anyway.
Hope to catch up with my pal Heidster tomorrow....
Tough blog coming up. Had a great day with the kids today in Hollywood. It was a class field trip to visit the famous historical places in Tinseltown. Lots of fun even though the weather was quite hot. Got home to receive a tearful phone call from Mom. Seems my dear Aunt Martha, who has been battling cancer for the past three years, had emergency surgery today to relieve some of the fluid accumulating in her lungs. She had trouble breathing over the weekend and luckily Mom happened to be in Texas (where my extended family lives) for my cousin's birthday party and was able to rush Aunt Martha to the hospital. It's hard to say if the surgery was successful or not. They were able to drain the fluid; however, the doctor said they found lots of cancer in the lining of her lungs, a common side effect of ovarian cancer. He said it was so bad that they didn't even bother using chemo on it, her lungs were so deformed. There's not much they can do for her now. We'll know in the morning, hopefully, what the prognosis is.
It's sad to think of losing a wonderful Aunt of mine. She's the oldest sister in my Mom's family and Mom and all her sisters really look up to Aunt Martha as a role model. Since my Mom was sixteen when her mother died (of cancer), Aunt Martha became the matriarch of the family. She's a hell-of-a strong woman and she is a fighter. She's had a lot of hard knocks in her life -- cancer was just the latest -- but she's always come through like a champion. Like my Mom told me today, "I just never considered that she wouldn't beat [the cancer]."
Aunt Martha hasn't given up yet, but she was giving hints over the weekend that the fight may soon be over. Mom mentioned that a few times Aunt Martha made comments about what to do "after I'm gone" or "if anything happens to me." Maybe her doctor had told her the cancer was getting worse, or maybe she just knew it, felt it. It's hard to imagine what it must be like to have another organism living within you and consuming your body. It's even harder to imagine that no matter what you do or how hard you try, you just can't stop it.
I love my Aunt Martha. She's really taught me a lot over the years, about life, about hard work, about making difficult choices, always doing your best, and never giving up. She's a champion. Perhaps she's just tired of the struggle. Her quality of life has been deteriorating drastically the past couple of years. The ironic thing is that Mom said she was looking so good these days. Her hair was growing back, and she'd lost almost thirty pounds since the bloating caused by the most recent chemo. Everyone at the birthday mentioned how good she looked. But she was keeping a secret, and she insisted my Mom help keep the secret. The secret was that she couldn't breathe. Her lungs were being drained every day by the doctors, but still the fluid came back. She was also in a great deal of pain and discomfort. Mom said she couldn't sleep lying down anymore, so she had to sleep sitting up in a chair or propped up with pillows on the couch. I don't blame her for wanting this life to end. Having your fingernails fall off because of chemo and your eyes constantly overflowing with tears because the bloating has squeezed your tear ducts shut are just two minor examples of a pretty miserable way to live.
I feel sorry for my Mom who is suddenly so afraid of losing her big sister. "It's so unfair," she told me. It is unfair. It's damn unfair. Mom is making plans to return to Texas as soon as necessary. Depending on how long my Aunt Martha has left, Mom may even put her things in storage and move to Texas for a while to take care of Aunt Martha. For some reason, I don't think it's going to be that long now. I hate to sound pessimistic, but this is something I've been trying to prepare myself for, ever since she was diagnosed a few years ago.
I've had the great pleasure of seeing Aunt Martha a few times in the past couple of years, at times when she was fit as a fiddle, and at other times when she was really struggling. She was even here in LA a little less than a year ago for a meeting. We had a nice dinner in Hollywood. I hate to think that may be the last time I'll ever see her. I hate to think of anytime that might be the last time I'll ever see her.
I hope she feels better again soon. And I hope I get to see her at least one more time. I don't know what I would tell her. Except that I love her. What else matters?
ss
It's sad to think of losing a wonderful Aunt of mine. She's the oldest sister in my Mom's family and Mom and all her sisters really look up to Aunt Martha as a role model. Since my Mom was sixteen when her mother died (of cancer), Aunt Martha became the matriarch of the family. She's a hell-of-a strong woman and she is a fighter. She's had a lot of hard knocks in her life -- cancer was just the latest -- but she's always come through like a champion. Like my Mom told me today, "I just never considered that she wouldn't beat [the cancer]."
Aunt Martha hasn't given up yet, but she was giving hints over the weekend that the fight may soon be over. Mom mentioned that a few times Aunt Martha made comments about what to do "after I'm gone" or "if anything happens to me." Maybe her doctor had told her the cancer was getting worse, or maybe she just knew it, felt it. It's hard to imagine what it must be like to have another organism living within you and consuming your body. It's even harder to imagine that no matter what you do or how hard you try, you just can't stop it.
I love my Aunt Martha. She's really taught me a lot over the years, about life, about hard work, about making difficult choices, always doing your best, and never giving up. She's a champion. Perhaps she's just tired of the struggle. Her quality of life has been deteriorating drastically the past couple of years. The ironic thing is that Mom said she was looking so good these days. Her hair was growing back, and she'd lost almost thirty pounds since the bloating caused by the most recent chemo. Everyone at the birthday mentioned how good she looked. But she was keeping a secret, and she insisted my Mom help keep the secret. The secret was that she couldn't breathe. Her lungs were being drained every day by the doctors, but still the fluid came back. She was also in a great deal of pain and discomfort. Mom said she couldn't sleep lying down anymore, so she had to sleep sitting up in a chair or propped up with pillows on the couch. I don't blame her for wanting this life to end. Having your fingernails fall off because of chemo and your eyes constantly overflowing with tears because the bloating has squeezed your tear ducts shut are just two minor examples of a pretty miserable way to live.
I feel sorry for my Mom who is suddenly so afraid of losing her big sister. "It's so unfair," she told me. It is unfair. It's damn unfair. Mom is making plans to return to Texas as soon as necessary. Depending on how long my Aunt Martha has left, Mom may even put her things in storage and move to Texas for a while to take care of Aunt Martha. For some reason, I don't think it's going to be that long now. I hate to sound pessimistic, but this is something I've been trying to prepare myself for, ever since she was diagnosed a few years ago.
I've had the great pleasure of seeing Aunt Martha a few times in the past couple of years, at times when she was fit as a fiddle, and at other times when she was really struggling. She was even here in LA a little less than a year ago for a meeting. We had a nice dinner in Hollywood. I hate to think that may be the last time I'll ever see her. I hate to think of anytime that might be the last time I'll ever see her.
I hope she feels better again soon. And I hope I get to see her at least one more time. I don't know what I would tell her. Except that I love her. What else matters?
ss
Tuesday, August 12, 2003
Wheh! Just got finished with teaching for the day. My English Online class (EOL) is always challenging, but a lot of fun, too. The test is to keep it communicative so that students don't become so absorbed in their computers that they forget to practice speaking English with their classmates.
We're pretty far into building our own webpages. I think the class was surprised by how easy it was to get started on the Internet, but also how challenging it is to make a sophisticated webpage. And we're taking baby steps here, believe me!
It's also challenging as a teacher because each student progresses at their own level, both with the language and with the computer skills. So I have to really monitor individual students to make sure they are not too bored or not too overwhelmed, depending on their individual abilities.
So Thursday, I would like to finish up the webpages for a while and let them try something a little different. I don't want to overdo it with webpages, although it is addictive stuff and one can easily get lost in the process for hours on end. I can only imagine what it will be like for me when I start building my own "real" web pages for scottydude.com. I'm way excited about that -- but daunted as well. (Is daunted an adjective?)
Oh God, I can never turn off my teacher brain!! :-)
We're pretty far into building our own webpages. I think the class was surprised by how easy it was to get started on the Internet, but also how challenging it is to make a sophisticated webpage. And we're taking baby steps here, believe me!
It's also challenging as a teacher because each student progresses at their own level, both with the language and with the computer skills. So I have to really monitor individual students to make sure they are not too bored or not too overwhelmed, depending on their individual abilities.
So Thursday, I would like to finish up the webpages for a while and let them try something a little different. I don't want to overdo it with webpages, although it is addictive stuff and one can easily get lost in the process for hours on end. I can only imagine what it will be like for me when I start building my own "real" web pages for scottydude.com. I'm way excited about that -- but daunted as well. (Is daunted an adjective?)
Oh God, I can never turn off my teacher brain!! :-)
Again I'm getting blogging peer pressure from my friend Heidster...jeesh! :0)
I don't mind really. I just haven't gotten in to the habit of blogging yet. I just wonder who I'm writing for besides myself...and Heidster. Hopefully I can get my web page online soon. I've already got the www.scottydude.com domain set up. Now I need someone to host my pages, and I do need to build my pages as well. (details, details)
I think once I have a stronger web presence I'll feel more comfortable blogging. But who knows?! I could always go back on my word. As my idol David Bowie recently said, "It's part of my entertaining factor: lying to you."
I don't mind really. I just haven't gotten in to the habit of blogging yet. I just wonder who I'm writing for besides myself...and Heidster. Hopefully I can get my web page online soon. I've already got the www.scottydude.com domain set up. Now I need someone to host my pages, and I do need to build my pages as well. (details, details)
I think once I have a stronger web presence I'll feel more comfortable blogging. But who knows?! I could always go back on my word. As my idol David Bowie recently said, "It's part of my entertaining factor: lying to you."
Monday, August 04, 2003
Second blog entry:
This is for Stennie, aka my dear friend Heidster. She's a "blogaholic" (hee hee), but I prefer moderation in my blogging habits. Actually, I'm just a lazy f--k who hasn't gotten into the habit of regular blogging. It's a novel concept though. Who knows...maybe I'll be an official Blogathoner in 2004!! :-)
This is for Stennie, aka my dear friend Heidster. She's a "blogaholic" (hee hee), but I prefer moderation in my blogging habits. Actually, I'm just a lazy f--k who hasn't gotten into the habit of regular blogging. It's a novel concept though. Who knows...maybe I'll be an official Blogathoner in 2004!! :-)
Thursday, July 31, 2003
Well! This is my first-ever blog! Oh my, isn't this exciting...actually it's kind of fun. This is just a little experiment because I want to use this in my teaching. I teach English as a Second Language (ESL) at UCLA Extension. One course I teach is called English On-Line. It's not really an online course, but it does use computer-assisted language learning. I thought it might be useful and interesting for students to keep weblogs about their time in Los Angeles. We also build webpages in class, so they can hopefully include links to their blogs on their websites. Wish me luck!
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